January: House burned down on the 29th. The rest of the year was a blur.
End of story.
How's that for an atypical year in review? No boring ramblings about vacations (there were none) or happy events (there were a few) or what the kids are doing.
When you are homeless and possessionless and heartbroken, life takes on an odd twist.
Twisted thoughts like this float through your head:
Wonder if this house will burn down too at any moment?
Wonder why we were spared from a middle of the night fire, where we surely would have died.
Wonder if people are talking about us negatively now that we have a brand new nice house.
Wonder if shit is really important at all -- accumulating shit that is.
Wonder if we'll be able to pay the bills, mainly because of a bad loan we made to a family member, but also because we are still replacing everyday things.
And yadda yadda yadda.
I'm just gonna write off 2009 and pray for a productive and happy 2010. End of Review.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
The Religion Entry
I think I finally found a religion I can buy into. I've been searching for many years, and all I've known is that I'm probably more Jewish than I am Christian; even though I've been raised a first Baptist Protestant.
But this new definition I stumbled upon through a google search of, "What is a belief in ALL religions called?":
Omnism or omnitheism is the belief in all religions; those who hold this belief are called omnists (or Omnists). [1] The Oxford English Dictionary (OED) quotes as the term's earliest usage the 1839 long poem "Festus" by English poet Philip J. Bailey: "I am an omnist, and believe in all religions". In recent years, the term has been emerging anew, due to the interest of modern day self-described omnists who have rediscovered and begun to redefine the term.
Contemporary refinements have modified "belief in all religions" to refer more to an acceptance of the legitimacy of all religions. The OED elaborates that an omnist believes "in a single transcendent purpose or cause uniting all things or people".
This will help me in my new endeavor as an ordained minister. I have a glossy ID card that proves I am CLERGY now, through the Universal Life Church's online ordination program. I guess I got bored a couple days before Christmas and decided I wanted to perform gay weddings. In college and shortly after, I photographed a couple drag queens as they went trough the metamorphosis, and I enjoyed the experience immensely. My state has approved gay marriages, and I thought there might be a need for a non-denominational, non-judgmental preacher to provide marriage services. Plus, I can snap a couple candid shots and call it a wedding package! I hate posed shots, I only do action shots; I'm a photojournalist dammit, not a portrait photographer.
So there....yesterday I even created a website with my real name (yes, Delani Bleu is a pseudonym if you didn't know) and posted a little note saying I'm available for marriages of all kinds. Now I'll get the word of mouth going, and might even hang a poster up in the gay bars announcing my services -- I haven't been out dancing in forever.
I have a feeling this entry wasn't what most people expected. Only Delani can go from religion to gay bars in the space of a few paragraphs -- and have it all make sense.
Ahhhhhhh, Sunday mornings and Elvis and caffeine gets me going on deep, philosophical ruminations. Wonder what most people do?
But this new definition I stumbled upon through a google search of, "What is a belief in ALL religions called?":
Omnism or omnitheism is the belief in all religions; those who hold this belief are called omnists (or Omnists). [1] The Oxford English Dictionary (OED) quotes as the term's earliest usage the 1839 long poem "Festus" by English poet Philip J. Bailey: "I am an omnist, and believe in all religions". In recent years, the term has been emerging anew, due to the interest of modern day self-described omnists who have rediscovered and begun to redefine the term.
Contemporary refinements have modified "belief in all religions" to refer more to an acceptance of the legitimacy of all religions. The OED elaborates that an omnist believes "in a single transcendent purpose or cause uniting all things or people".
This will help me in my new endeavor as an ordained minister. I have a glossy ID card that proves I am CLERGY now, through the Universal Life Church's online ordination program. I guess I got bored a couple days before Christmas and decided I wanted to perform gay weddings. In college and shortly after, I photographed a couple drag queens as they went trough the metamorphosis, and I enjoyed the experience immensely. My state has approved gay marriages, and I thought there might be a need for a non-denominational, non-judgmental preacher to provide marriage services. Plus, I can snap a couple candid shots and call it a wedding package! I hate posed shots, I only do action shots; I'm a photojournalist dammit, not a portrait photographer.
So there....yesterday I even created a website with my real name (yes, Delani Bleu is a pseudonym if you didn't know) and posted a little note saying I'm available for marriages of all kinds. Now I'll get the word of mouth going, and might even hang a poster up in the gay bars announcing my services -- I haven't been out dancing in forever.
I have a feeling this entry wasn't what most people expected. Only Delani can go from religion to gay bars in the space of a few paragraphs -- and have it all make sense.
Ahhhhhhh, Sunday mornings and Elvis and caffeine gets me going on deep, philosophical ruminations. Wonder what most people do?
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Son #1's Last Christmas
Son #1 is seventeen and I get him every other year for Christmas. This means that this year will be his last before he's a college student and then off to become his own man.
This makes me a bit sad; although I'm happy he is here this Christmas. We have new memories to create; new house, new tree, new everything. I'll need him to make this house a home, and I'm thankful he is such a cool kid. He is into hip music -- plays as well as listens; he is into upper level literature and upper level math. This kid will go far, I have no doubts, in spite of his part-time mother.
That's the only thing that has sucked about life since the divorce -- I get my kid part-time. He has grown up away from me and I have been relegated to being the "texting" mom or the "facebook" mom. Without those two things I wouldn't know him very well. OK. End of Pity Party, Delani...it's not very becoming.
I wouldn't go back and change anything about life -- I'm very happily married now and am very happily divorced; except I'd like to see Son #1 a bit more before he flies the coop.
I'll just patiently waits until he texts me with his ETA, and try not to focus on this being the LAST holiday season I'm guaranteed a visit. He will always need his mommy, won't he?
This makes me a bit sad; although I'm happy he is here this Christmas. We have new memories to create; new house, new tree, new everything. I'll need him to make this house a home, and I'm thankful he is such a cool kid. He is into hip music -- plays as well as listens; he is into upper level literature and upper level math. This kid will go far, I have no doubts, in spite of his part-time mother.
That's the only thing that has sucked about life since the divorce -- I get my kid part-time. He has grown up away from me and I have been relegated to being the "texting" mom or the "facebook" mom. Without those two things I wouldn't know him very well. OK. End of Pity Party, Delani...it's not very becoming.
I wouldn't go back and change anything about life -- I'm very happily married now and am very happily divorced; except I'd like to see Son #1 a bit more before he flies the coop.
I'll just patiently waits until he texts me with his ETA, and try not to focus on this being the LAST holiday season I'm guaranteed a visit. He will always need his mommy, won't he?
Monday, December 21, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Stuff and Shit
We, the hubby and I, have decided that stuff just isn't important any more. Plain and simple.
Since the fire, we have slowly been accumulating shit. We only have about 7 bins of extra stuff in storage in the basement; the rest is tucked nicely in spacious cupboards upstairs. We aren't interested in acquiring stuff anymore: stuff like 750 gig of music and movies; stuff like a new outfit for each day of the year; and finally, stuff like collectibles and knick knacks.
Some stuff I still want, don't get me wrong, like photographs and shoes. Can never have enough of those. But, during this holiday season (yes, i chose the PC version on purpose) we find that we only want what we are still replacing. Shit like bathrobes and slippers and winter sweaters. As we approach the year anniversary, we have come full circle in missing shit, and I think it's wearing on all of our psyche's a bit.
There you have it, the lowdown on stuff and shit. Some shit is important, and some shit isn't. Oh, and I haven't even begun to talk about the dilemma of epic proportions we face this week.
Since the fire, we have slowly been accumulating shit. We only have about 7 bins of extra stuff in storage in the basement; the rest is tucked nicely in spacious cupboards upstairs. We aren't interested in acquiring stuff anymore: stuff like 750 gig of music and movies; stuff like a new outfit for each day of the year; and finally, stuff like collectibles and knick knacks.
Some stuff I still want, don't get me wrong, like photographs and shoes. Can never have enough of those. But, during this holiday season (yes, i chose the PC version on purpose) we find that we only want what we are still replacing. Shit like bathrobes and slippers and winter sweaters. As we approach the year anniversary, we have come full circle in missing shit, and I think it's wearing on all of our psyche's a bit.
There you have it, the lowdown on stuff and shit. Some shit is important, and some shit isn't. Oh, and I haven't even begun to talk about the dilemma of epic proportions we face this week.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Dancing to Lady Ga Ga
After demanding he be seen earlier by calling in and impersonating a crazy woman, I'm happy to report that the doctor has agreed to see him on December 29, rather than January 22. . .
And, after having that detail arranged, he seems to have turned a corner...he hasn't vomited for 24 hours and he was caught dancing to Lady Ga Ga's Pokerface this morning. . .
And, finally after all of this, I am thankful for our health, happiness, and entire well being this holiday season. Will be with Son #1 this year, which is always a bonus. If Son #2 gets his proverbial shit together, this could end up being a better holiday season than I thought.
And, after having that detail arranged, he seems to have turned a corner...he hasn't vomited for 24 hours and he was caught dancing to Lady Ga Ga's Pokerface this morning. . .
And, finally after all of this, I am thankful for our health, happiness, and entire well being this holiday season. Will be with Son #1 this year, which is always a bonus. If Son #2 gets his proverbial shit together, this could end up being a better holiday season than I thought.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Health Care Crisis
We have a health care crisis here of EPIC proportions.
Son #2 is on Week #4 of puking/pooping/dizzy/headaches. His platelettes are high, indicating he's fighting ann infection, but his poop test and blood test came back "negative." He doesn't have H1N1, and he doesn't have mono.
He has missed 3 weeks of school, and he shows no signs of getting better. His nights and days are mixed up because he gets more sick during the night, so he's up half the night puking and getting hot flashes and watching Nick at Night. Then he sleeps all day and is lethargic while he's awake. We had his stomach X-Ray'd on Friday, and he fell asleep on the way home from the hospital.
We shall get the results of the X-Ray on Monday, and if they show something, then MAYBE the GI Specialist will get him in before January 22, which is the next available appointment.
We are frustrated and worried, to say the least. We should probably pack him up and head to University Town to the Children's Hospital there, where they might fit him in sooner.
AND THE REAL CRISIS is we don't know how much of this the EBIL Insurance Company will pay for. IF WE CAN GET HELP for him, that is...
I should write to President Obama -- he could use our story to show how even "middle-class folks" WITH insurance get screwed every day in our country. Plus, the ACCESS to the health care is abominable.
OH well, just another example of how we feel we get screwed in this country, and another story to highlight how badly we need health-care reform in this country. We are so close right now, but yet so far.
Son #2 is on Week #4 of puking/pooping/dizzy/headaches. His platelettes are high, indicating he's fighting ann infection, but his poop test and blood test came back "negative." He doesn't have H1N1, and he doesn't have mono.
He has missed 3 weeks of school, and he shows no signs of getting better. His nights and days are mixed up because he gets more sick during the night, so he's up half the night puking and getting hot flashes and watching Nick at Night. Then he sleeps all day and is lethargic while he's awake. We had his stomach X-Ray'd on Friday, and he fell asleep on the way home from the hospital.
We shall get the results of the X-Ray on Monday, and if they show something, then MAYBE the GI Specialist will get him in before January 22, which is the next available appointment.
We are frustrated and worried, to say the least. We should probably pack him up and head to University Town to the Children's Hospital there, where they might fit him in sooner.
AND THE REAL CRISIS is we don't know how much of this the EBIL Insurance Company will pay for. IF WE CAN GET HELP for him, that is...
I should write to President Obama -- he could use our story to show how even "middle-class folks" WITH insurance get screwed every day in our country. Plus, the ACCESS to the health care is abominable.
OH well, just another example of how we feel we get screwed in this country, and another story to highlight how badly we need health-care reform in this country. We are so close right now, but yet so far.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Snow Days, Round 1
Today is the third day of round one: snow days 2009-10. The storm started up around midnight Tuesday morning, and Mr. Superintendent called off school around 6:35 AM. We had a good old-fashioned blizzard from then through Wednesday night, and now, frigid temps have helped call off day 3.
Of course, I didn't bring any work home with me on Monday, thinking there was no way school would be canceled on Tuesday. I have an entire consensus map to poop out for curriculum mapping, and I have a small, but manageable pile of papers and projects to check. I have to be at school to check the projects that are housed on the server, but the rest I could be doing.
Guess what I've done instead? You got it; social networked until my fingers were numb. I've been so thankful that the electricity didn't go out as per usual in this small-ass town; for without the Internet, I'd be lost. Plus, with our geothermal heat source, we need the electricity to make it run. We have no gas in our house, except for the gas generated by Son #2, who has had the runs and the pukes for going on 3 weeks now.
The next step is to take him into a GI Specialist at the children's hospital in the Capitol City; however, said hospital has been closed due to the weather. So, our only option is to sit and ride the storm out.
For those keeping track at home, 3 snow days puts us going to school well into the second week of June...and it's only December 10th. The Farmer's Almanac predicted a wet winter -- so insert your own Global Warming joke here. I'm too tired to comment on the fact that the Midwest will soon be a tropical climate -- plus, as the parent of one of my students complained to my Principal about -- Global Warming is just a theory.
/me goes back to roaming with the dinosaurs in real life.
Of course, I didn't bring any work home with me on Monday, thinking there was no way school would be canceled on Tuesday. I have an entire consensus map to poop out for curriculum mapping, and I have a small, but manageable pile of papers and projects to check. I have to be at school to check the projects that are housed on the server, but the rest I could be doing.
Guess what I've done instead? You got it; social networked until my fingers were numb. I've been so thankful that the electricity didn't go out as per usual in this small-ass town; for without the Internet, I'd be lost. Plus, with our geothermal heat source, we need the electricity to make it run. We have no gas in our house, except for the gas generated by Son #2, who has had the runs and the pukes for going on 3 weeks now.
The next step is to take him into a GI Specialist at the children's hospital in the Capitol City; however, said hospital has been closed due to the weather. So, our only option is to sit and ride the storm out.
For those keeping track at home, 3 snow days puts us going to school well into the second week of June...and it's only December 10th. The Farmer's Almanac predicted a wet winter -- so insert your own Global Warming joke here. I'm too tired to comment on the fact that the Midwest will soon be a tropical climate -- plus, as the parent of one of my students complained to my Principal about -- Global Warming is just a theory.
/me goes back to roaming with the dinosaurs in real life.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Death of an old friend.
OK. I've mentioned this game and the friends I've made several times in this blog/blook/monstrosity that I've created. Remember my friend who's son was in a coma for four months? He has plans to come visit us from the UK next year -- we've grown that close.
AND I could go on and on: the Tennesse/Malaysia couple who are hooking up IRL (in real life) for the second time in March: the struggling poet who is currently unemployed and only lives three states away, and who cried last night because the game was dead officially; and the 42 other friends I have actually "friended" on facebook are all wonderful characters -- doctors, lawyers, students and educators.
Well, one may be sure that I did not cry over MHA's demise; I am the one who didn't even cry when her own house burnt down. I almost cried once about a month ago, but I didn't. Thank you Dr. G for the wonderful brain cocktail.
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